Saudi Driving Skills

Driving 101

Driving, or in my case riding in the back seat, in Saudi Arabia can be an absolutely terrifying experience. Most cars are driven by foreign drivers or workers, many of whom have never driven a car prior to their arrival in the Kingdom. There are traffic rules here, but they are not taken seriously. To get an idea of what it feels like, take New York City traffic, add in the fact that no one has driving skills above those of your average teenager, AND the fact that they are all men so testosterone is flowing abundantly, and you have a recipe for disaster.

Have no fear though, foreigners who may have to drive in the Kingdom someday. I have many, many hours of observation under my belt and I’ve done the work and compiled a list of rules of the road and traffic translations for you!

Translations

Automobile- Weapon of mass destruction
Traffic light- Decoration
Sidewalk- Those annoying slabs of raised concrete that you sometimes have to drive over to get where you need to go
Pedestrian- Moving target
Horn- Communication device
Passengers- Projectile objects
Stop Sign- An indication that streets will be crossing
Turn Signal- A place to hang your Igal
Mirrors- Should be avoided incase Madam thinks you may be looking at her

Rules of the Road

• When at a stop light, no need to be in the lane you wish to turn from. Simply step on the gas,honk your horn and hold up traffic while moving from the far right lane to make your left turn.
• When you spot a stop sign, no need to stop. Simply flash your headlights (at night) or honk your horn to let the occupants of the oncoming car know to brace for impact and drive on through the intersection.
• When merging from one lane to another, there is no need for a signal or waiting your turn. Simply move and everyone else around you will swerve or slam on their brakes to avoid hitting you.
• When transporting children or other passengers, there is no need to encourage them to use safety restraints. You will see that it is completely acceptable to potentially turn your children into hood ornaments, and women would rather be tossed out of the car than risk a seatbelt that may show the definition of her breasts. She’ll be dead, but no one will know that she had lady parts and that’s a good thing.
• In the event that you should have to make an inconvenient stop at a traffic light, you may be approached by small children begging or by foreign men selling bottled water or Jasmine necklaces. Do not trouble yourself with taking caution with them. They are specially trained to dodge traffic. The same goes with people who may be crossing the street. If they don’t move, it’s their fault.
• There are times for all of us when we are in a hurry to meet our buddies at the shopping mall to try to convince the guards to let us in so we can harass the women inside. And it never fails that at those times there are always pesky people who don’t want to run a red light and decide instead to wait for it to turn green. No worries. The sidewalk is always available for you to drive on if you don’t see another way around.

Keeping in mind that this post is in the name of a good sense of humor, I hope that those of you who may have to drive here use caution and drive safely! For my fellow women who are made to sit in the back and hold on tight when a man we hardly know drives us where we need to go, take deep breaths and say your prayers! And most importantly, wear your seatbelts!

Credit to

http://undertheabaya.wordpress.com/2011/10/03/driving-101/